Or… the three Wheelers all have their worst day on a bike ever!
Stage 12 of the 2022 Tour de France, 104 miles and 15,500 feet of climbing from Briancon, over the Galibier, Croix de Fer and finish at Alpe d’Huez!
We had booked through the tour operator Destination Sport Experience (DES) who were very good and looked after us well. Would recommend them if anyone else doing any of these big events. Really took away a lot of hassle and stress, leaving us to just ride our bikes.
Travel on Friday was all fine, got to our base at Alpe d’Huez and built bikes up. Saturday morning easy leg spin, went down 5 bends, turn right for the spectacular balcony road to Villard Reculas. Turn around and back up to the finish line for a wee fun sprint. Did you know we were faster than Wout van Aert 😊 Felt great and started looking forward to the Etape.
We then had to hand over the bikes to our DES reps, as they were being transported to the start for us to pickup tomorrow morning. An afternoon of chilling, eating and worrying about tomorrow.
Only thing I would say about staying at the finish and the tour operator picking up the registration numbers etc was that we missed out on the Etape Village experience and vibe. Felt sorry for Ally as his first Etape, felt a wee bit short changed.
Sunday 2:30 alarm was a rude awakening, then on to the bus for the 2 hour trip to the start line. Really felt tired and sitting on the bus didn’t help. Then off to find my bike, get ready and roll along to the start pens. Was all fine, just stupid early. Organisation from the Etape was great.
My ride plan was always very conservative, not go to deep, ride to 70% power and enjoy it, should be 8 ½ - 9 hours at a steady pace!
After the usual hanging about waiting for the off, to the sound of AC\DC and Didi the Devil high fiving us, at 7:15am I was on my way. Best Etape start I have had with wide roads, no street furniture, less stressful and no carnage! The first climb up to Lauteret was rolling, all good, big ring stuff. Then you turn right and hit the Galibier proper. Temperature was cool, legs felt good, and was sticking to the keep it easy plan. Really enjoying myself. Views were amazing! Over the top at 2642 metres and then the decent starts technical, then opens up, great fun.
Stopped at Valloire for water and food. DES provide 2 private feed stops, best thing of the whole tour, so much better and less stressful the than the crowded Etape bun fight! Quick pit stop and then the 5km climb to the top of the Telegraphe then great descent to the valley section.
Was in a group for the valley and chapping along nicely, without pushing, was up on my time plan, so thought I could take it easy and still be on course for a respectable finish. Realised at the foot of the Croix de Fer we had covered ½ the distance but still had most of the 15,500 feet of climbing to come!!
Croix de Fer was brutal. First third, around 7km at 8.8% average. Then an easier 11-12km middle section. Taking it real easy, I stopped at the second DES feed stop at Saint Sorlin, around 8km from the top of the climb. Stomach was gone by this point, in knots, temperature rising rapidly, around 30 now. Legs felt fine. Last third of the climb was back to awful, I really knocked back the effort, probably 50% effort. Eventually over the top and was still a little up on time plan. Descent is fast, until you are 2/3rds down and there is a horrible uphill section that drained me. My stomach was in bits now, couldn’t really eat or drink. As we descended it went from hot to being in a hairdryer, the air was so warm.
After the descent there is a 10km valley section along to the foot of The Alpe. I was in a group, sitting in, taking it easy, and then boom – first real shot of cramps and had to stop. Stretched it out, felt okay and rode easily to the foot of the Alpe. At this point I was bang on my time plan of being at the foot of The Alpe in around 7 hours.
I have ridden Alpe d’Huez a few times. I have ridden 5 Etape du Tours and this was my 13th big Euro event. I have experience of these things! But never have I had as bad a 14km as this. Plan was to go as easy as possible and stop at the 2 water stops on bends 17 and 7, just get there even if it takes me 2 hours! I couldn’t get to the first bend without retching and cramping. For almost the next 4 hours I cycled a few hundred metres, stopped when cramping or retching to find shade and throw up. Repeat. After bend 6 I decided to walk as surely couldn’t be any slower than having to stop every few metres. Still felt sick and still throwing up. After an eternity, I finally made it to the top of the climb and into the town, stopped again to recover. The last 2 km to go is a lot easier, so I set off and made it up the last wee incline past bend 0, flat through town and the last 300 metres uphill to the finish.
Etape 2022 done, and so was I.
Lay down in the shade for a bit and then took me 30 minutes to walk the 1km back to the hotel as still throwing up!
Eventually Ally made it back to the hotel and was just about as bad a shape as me, having suffered with the heat too. Unfortunately, Jamie was a DNF, stopping near the top of the Croix de Fer to get a bail out cable car off the mountain and the bus back!
None of us saw if there was any post event village or celebrations as we just went straight back to the hotel to collapse.
All three of us had the worst day on a bike ever! But don’t let that stop anyone else from having a go. 😊
My official time was 10:57. Ally was 11:16.
There were a lot of DNF’s, only 8,685 completed it out of 16,000 who signed up, that’s a lot more DNF’s than there usually is.
If you want to see how it should be done, Le Tour pros do it all on Thursday 14th I expect it will be quite the stage!